You’ve probably heard the terms sensory seeker and sensory avoider tossed around a bunch, but do you actually know how to tell which one your child is? It’s one of those things that can feel a bit like a guessing game, right? You might notice some things, but putting it all together isn’t always as clear cut as they make it seem.

One minute, your kid is bouncing off the walls, and the next, they’re refusing to touch something because the texture freaks them out. So, what’s really going on? Which category do they fall into? Knowing the answer makes a huge difference in how you can support them—since they need totally different strategies! Let's break it down.

In this blog:

• What do sensory seeking & sensory avoiding really mean?

•  How to tell if your child is seeking or avoiding

• How active and passive responses play into this

• Helping sensory seekers & avoiders 

   

Just so you know, this blog is based on my and my guests’ personal experiences, and research I’ve done as a pediatric occupational therapist. None of the below is medical, occupational therapy, or feeding therapy advice. When you buy through links on this page, we may earn a commission. Learn more about affiliate links.

What Do Sensory Seeking and Sensory Avoiding Really Mean?

When we're talking about the terms "seeking" and "avoiding" we're talking about how your child's brain interprets & responds to the level of sensory input they are receiving. AKA how sensitive they are to it. Do they feel just right? Too much? Too little? 

A great way to think of this is like the volume on the radio. Your child's brain is trying to decide if the sensory input is "too loud," "too little," or "just-right." 

• Sensory seekers: the volume of sensory input usually feels "too little" for them, and they are constantly trying to turn the volume up. These kids are usually always on the move, touching everything, and making loud noises. You know, the ones who might run into the room full speed and just start spinning around or jumping off furniture. It can feel like they’re never satisfied—no matter how much they crash, spin, or chew, they seem to need more and more. They tend to be labelled as "trouble makers."
  
  
• Sensory avoider: the volume of sensory input always feels like "too much," and they are constantly trying to avoid input as much as they can. You may see these kids covering their ears, avoiding getting dirty or refusing to eat textures. They're often labelled as "stubborn."

What's really important to understand about both sensory avoiders and sensory seekers is that they're not trying to be difficulty (even if it may feel like it to you). They're just trying to listen to the messages their body is sending them.

How to Tell If Your Child is Seeking or Avoiding Input

Parents ask me all the time: "How do I know if my child is seeking or avoiding?" "Is there a specific test that needs to be done?" "Can it be both?"

Typically, when you take your child to an occupational therapist, we do a deep dive into your history and take a peek at how your child responds to different sensations. What we're usually looking for is trends in how they behave. When a child is struggling with an area of sensory processing, we'll usually see it pop up in multiple ways throughout their day.

So the best way to start figuring out which one your child is is to write it ALL DOWN. Take out a big sheet of paper and write down every single behavior you notice.

Here's some ideas:

• Are they constantly wiggling? 
• Do they need to move at dinner instead of sitting?
• Do they get in trouble at school for getting out of their chair a lot?
• Do they push friends a lot?
• Are they getting in trouble for throwing? 
• Do they tend to love or avoid messy play?
• Do they make a lot of noise? 
• Do they cover their ears with loud or sudden noises?
• How do they feel about getting wet?
  
  

Now here's where it gets tricky - some of these can be both! A child may push a friend at school because they're seeking deep pressure input and it feels silly and good. OR they may be a friend at school because that friend was standing too close and it feels bad. This is where you really need to observe your child. Was there a trigger before? If they're old enough, I also recommend asking them! You'll be surprised how much they know about their own body.

And where it's even more tricky. A child can be both a sensory seeker and a sensory avoider. We have 8 different senses. Kids process each sense differently. They can seek in one and avoid another. For example, we commonly see kids seeking movement, but avoiding different textures at the table. When we're talking about seeking and avoiding, we want to look at each different sense separately. 

How Active and Passive Sensory Responses Play Into This

So something that annoys me quite a bit when it comes to sensory processing, is that a lot of new terms are thrown at parents, but it never seems to all connect. Well, I want to make sure I connect it for you. Last week we talked about active vs. passive sensory responses (If you missed that, click here). 

Sensory seeking and sensory avoiding are both active sensory responses. Meaning, kids are taking action to help their body. They are either taking actions to get more input (seeking), or taking action to get away from input (avoiding). 

***Pst: If you haven't downloaded my free Sensory Survival Guide for Parents you NEED to. There's an awesome picture in here that shows you exactly what this means (and explains passive responses too!) 

Helping Sensory Seekers & Avoiders

So what do you do with this information? When you understand whether your child is seeking or avoiding input, you are able to be more intentional with the help you provide to them. Sensory seekers tend to need MORE input, and more opportunities to interact with their environment. (*Bonus tip - many sensory seekers get more disorganized when they do get this big input, and tend to do better when they get calmer input with a focus. For example, an obstacle course where they have a task at the end, or throwing toys at a target). Sensory avoiders tend to need more predictable input that feels safe for them.

For sensory seekers:

• Provide lots of opportunities for exploration and movement
• Visit playgrounds with slides and swings
• Notice when they are escalating as opposed to calming with movement
• Notice which activities do calm their body
• More isn't always better! Also trial activities that are calming like massages, lowering lights, etc. Many children love weighted toys as a gentle form of input.
• Teach them safe ways to get the input they need.

For sensory avoiders:

• Identify their triggers
• Refrain from pressuring them to engage with something triggering
• Offer safe opportunities for them to explore new things
• Reduce overstimulation
• Work on predictable routines

***Note: the goal isn't to "fix" or change your child. The goal is to provide sensory experiences that match their body's needs. When we can tune into exactly what your child's body is asking for - we can help them feel "just right," reduce meltdowns, and bring more calm to both of your days! 

And if this all feels like a lot to take in, don’t worry—I've got you. That’s exactly what I’m here for in my upcoming course, Sensory Made Simple. We’re going to break all of this down step-by-step so you can better understand your child’s sensory system and exactly how to support them, no matter where they fall on the sensory spectrum.

In the course, we’ll walk through how to identify whether your child is more passive or active and how that affects their sensory needs. We’ll dive into how to recognize if they’re a seeker or an avoider, plus I’ll show you exactly how to apply this knowledge to everyday situations. We’ll explore the 8 senses (because yes, there’s more than just the typical 5!) and I’ll give you actionable tips for each one.

By the end of the course, you’ll not only feel confident about how to handle your child’s sensory needs, but you’ll have a complete toolkit of strategies to bring more calm and understanding into your everyday life.

So if you’re ready to stop guessing and start understanding your child’s sensory world, I can’t wait to help you take that next step! Join the waitlist here! 

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