Do you feel like your child goes from 0 to 100 out of nowhere? One minute they seem fine, and the next, they’re melting down, refusing to do something, or acting totally out of control. But here’s the thing—there were likely tiny signs your child gave you, as a warning that they were getting overwhelmed - before the pop! I'm teaching you how to tune into those small hints, and showing you why catching them early can make all the difference.
In this blog:
- Why do the "subtle hints" matter?
- Examples of the clues you may be missing
- Where to go from here
Just so you know, this blog is based on my and my guests’ personal experiences, and research I’ve done as a pediatric occupational therapist. None of the below is medical, occupational therapy, or feeding therapy advice. When you buy through links on this page, we may earn a commission. Learn more about affiliate links.
Why These Signs Matter
"They go to zero from 100" is something I hear all the time from parents. But here’s the thing—in my experience, they’re not actually going from zero to 100. When I worked with these kids, I could always spot the small, subtle signs that they were starting to escalate. Yes, it may have seemed fast, but those signs were there. It just took someone who knew exactly what to look for to recognize them.
So, why is this important? When we talk about meltdowns, we’re really talking about sensory overload—when your child gets to that breaking point because everything around them just feels like too much. Think about a time you’ve been overwhelmed—maybe you snapped at someone or just shut down because it all got to be too much. That’s a sensory meltdown, just like your child’s.
But here’s the thing: before that meltdown happens, it’s often a bunch of little things building up. Maybe you were running late, your child refused to put on their shoes, the dog was barking, and your other kid was cranking up the TV. Then, you spilled your coffee, and boom—everything came crashing down. To anyone watching, it probably looked like you went from calm to screaming in a second. But really, it’s those little things—those small signs—that add up.
My goal is to help you catch those subtle signs that you might have missed before, so you can step in and help before the meltdown happens - and hopefully avoid it altogether!
The Sensory Signs You're Probably Missing
So what exactly are those signs that you've been missing?Well, they’re usually small, subtle cues that your child probably doesn’t even notice they’re doing, but that they do routinely as they get over-stimulated. They’re easy to overlook because we often write them off as just being “silly,” “mad,” or “acting out.” When our children get upset, we're often so worried about calming them down that we forget to look for these!
These look different for every single child, but here's a couple things to look out for:
Body Language Cues
- Finger spreading when getting messy or wet
- Body stiffening
- Turning their head away or avoiding eye contact
- Rubbing their hands on their clothing or you
- Flushed cheeks
- Holding their breath, or breathing really quickly
- Having a hard time sitting still/shifting their body a lot
- Becoming extra silly or hyper
But I also want to give you a real life example of this. I was recently working with a child who was struggling with handwriting. According to his parents, he really disliked handwriting and would constantly shut down and have meltdowns as soon as he made a mistake. As I got to know him, I noticed he did escalate very quickly. But I also began to notice that before this happened he would rub his eyes first. Then, if he tried again, and made another mistake, that's where the meltdown began! So, as soon as I noticed he would rub his eyes, we'd immediately tone the activity down, give him time to recover, and then try again. By responding to the eye rubbing (his hint that he was getting overwhelmed), we were able to avoid to meltdowns and spend more time working on his writing skills!
Escape Clues (Flight response activating from fight or flight)
- Ignoring you and going to another activity
- Physically running away
- Hiding
- Acting like an animal (for example: meowing like a kitty)
- Giving up on an activity super easily
- Refusing to participate
Something I hear from parents all the time is "I don't think he/she is interested in ____." But to me, this is usually a sign that the activity is too much or too challenging for them, which starts to overwhelm their sensory system. Usually, when we make that activity easier for them, or adapt it to suit their sensory needs, they suddenly become interested!
Verbal Cues
- "This is boring" or "this is stupid:
- "This is for babies"
- Repeating the same phrase over and over to self-soothe
- Going silent or talking less
If your child has ever blurted out, “This is boring!”—especially when faced with something new or tricky—take note. It’s one of the most common (and missed) ways kids communicate that they’re struggling. I've seen this a ton when working with kids on introducing foods. A child will push a new food away, insisting it’s “boring,” but once they feel more comfortable and confident? Suddenly, they’re totally into the same activity they refused before. It wasn’t actually boring—it just felt too hard, unfamiliar, or overwhelming in the moment. Once we recognize this, we can meet them where they are instead of assuming they just don’t care. Of course, sometimes it may actually be something they're just not interesting in, and we need to present it in a different way.
How to Step in Before Things Spiral
Now that you know what to look for, let’s talk about what to do with that info! The goal isn’t to stress over every little thing your child does—it’s just about noticing patterns. Do they always rub their hands right before they get frustrated? Do they leave the room before a meltdown? These small signs are like a secret heads-up, giving you the chance to step in before things spiral.
Once you start spotting these patterns, you can help your child feel understood—even if they don’t have the words for it yet. A simple “That noise seems really loud—do you want to find a quieter spot?” or “I see you scrunching your hands—do you need a quick break?” can make all the difference.
And here’s the thing: Sometimes, the activity just isn’t the right fit at that moment. Sometimes, the activity itself just isn’t the right fit in that moment. Instead of pushing through until they hit their breaking point, take a step back and try a different approach. This doesn’t mean giving up—it’s about meeting your child where they are and helping them reset before things get too overwhelming.
If you’re looking to take this a step further and want to learn how to help your child re-regulate in these moments, I walk you through this in my course, Sensory Made Simple. I teach you simple strategies to decode your child’s behavior, recognize what’s truly bothering them, and give you the tools to handle these moments with confidence. Be sure to join the waitlist to get access to early bird pricing and a head start on these strategies!
I know how defeating those meltdowns can feel, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere, and often you blame yourself. But here’s the truth: every meltdown is an opportunity to learn more about your child’s needs. Every time they reach that breaking point, they’re giving us clues. And when we start recognizing those signs early, we can take action to prevent the meltdown before it even starts.
But I know you may still feel unsure of how to respond in those moments though. That’s where Sensory Made Simple comes in. This course is designed to give you the tools and strategies to understand your child’s sensory needs and respond with confidence—so you can handle these challenges before they spiral. Join the waitlist now and be the first to know when doors open. You won’t want to miss this chance to feel more in control and empowered!
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