Okay, tell me if this sounds familiar—your kid is hitting, biting, screaming, or flat-out refusing to do the simplest thing… and you have no idea why (even though you've spent hours Googling it). You’ve tried reasoning, consequences, maybe even a reward chart, but nothing works. And honestly? You’re exhausted.

Everyone keeps saying it’s just ‘bad behavior’ or that they’re ‘testing you,’ but deep down, you know it’s more than that. What if I told you their body is actually trying to tell you something—they just don’t have the words for it yet?

Today, we’re breaking down the sensory side of behavior—what’s really going on when your child is acting out due to sensory processing and how you can finally start responding in a way that actually helps.

In this blog:

• Behavior = communication

• Breaking down common behaviors

•  What do you do?
   

Just so you know, this blog is based on my and my guests’ personal experiences, and research I’ve done as a pediatric occupational therapist. None of the below is medical, occupational therapy, or feeding therapy advice. When you buy through links on this page, we may earn a commission. Learn more about affiliate links.

Behavior = Communication, Not Just Defiance

When your child acts out, they’re not just trying to make your life harder (even though it definitely feels that way sometimes). Their behavior is often their body’s way of trying to manage sensory input.

Think about when you feel overstimulated—maybe the house is too loud, the lights are too bright, or you’re just done for the day. You might sigh, rub your temples, or snap at someone without meaning to. But kids? Not only do they not have the coping skills yet to ask for what their body needs, but they probably don't even realize they need it! 

So instead, their body reacts in big, physical ways—hitting, yelling, running away, melting down, or completely shutting down.

It’s not them being difficult—it’s their body’s way of saying, “I need something to feel better.” What looks like “bad behavior” is often just their body trying to feel “right” again.

Breaking Down Common "Behaviors"

What's really interesting about these "behaviors" is that they are actually hidden messages about what's going on inside the sensory system. Let's break down a couple common ways a kid might be seen as "acting out" but may be a hidden sensory need.

1. Hitting & Biting: Hitting & biting are both forms of proprioceptive (deep pressure) input. Deep pressure is extremely calming to the body when it is overstimulated. For example, we often see people punch a wall when upset. While not appropriate, it felt good to them in the moment. It's the same with kids.
   
   
2. Yelling, Screaming, Making Loud Noises: Yelling or screaming is often your child’s way of coping with sensory overload. Their fight-or-flight responses is likely activated, and they feel a need to protect themselves by raising their voice. Yelling also stimulates a nerve that is responsible for calming the body (aka the vagus nerve). 
   
   
3. Head Banging: This is often a HUGE and often scary clue that your child is looking for deep pressure input. On the other hands, some kids may do it to quiet their body when they are feeling overstimulated, out of frustration.
   
   
4. Stubbornness: Children with sensory issues are often seeing as extremely stubborn and strong-willed. In reality, they are often desperately trying to control their environment because something is triggering for them.

So, What Do You Do?

So do you just totally ignore the "behavior" because it's sensory related? No! We want to teach kids how to respond in more appropriate and engaging ways. When your child is struggling and having big behaviors, try this simple mindset shift:

👉 Instead of asking: “Why are they doing this?”
👉 Ask yourself: "What are they trying to tell me? What is their body looking for right now?”

Then, try to meet that sensory need:
✅ If they’re seeking movement, give them an outlet—jumping, climbing, pushing.
✅ If they’re overwhelmed, help them find a quieter space or deep pressure.
✅ If they’re chewing or biting, offer something safe to chew on.

Even just noticing that behavior is sensory can be a game-changer. It doesn’t mean all the struggles magically disappear overnight, but it gives you a new way to respond that actually helps—instead of just battling it out day after day.

***Important note: Children are often not able to learn new skills when un-regulated. It can be super helpful to talk about these strategies and practice before hand, so that when the moment hits they are more likely to be able to use them. 

I know it can feel like you're drowning in techniques, strategies, and advice—especially when it seems like nothing works the same way for every kid. What works for one child may not even come close to working for yours. It's exhausting trying to figure out what your child really needs when every day brings something new, right?

But here's the thing: you don’t have to figure it out all alone. Decoding those behaviors doesn’t mean you have to follow some cookie-cutter solution. It’s about learning what really helps your child—and you. Once you understand what sensory needs are behind those behaviors, you’ll be able to try different strategies and know exactly what your child needs in that moment. It’s not about having the “right” answer—it’s about finding what works for your child.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by where to start or which technique to try first, don’t worry—you’re not alone in this. That’s exactly why I'm creating Sensory Made Simple. It’s a program that literally walks you through all this in simple steps and helps you understand what’s going to work best for your child. And most importantly, you won’t be left guessing.

Ready to finally feel confident in your responses to your child’s behavior and make those everyday challenges more manageable? Join the waitlist for Sensory Made Simple, and you’ll get early access to early bird pricing, plus a chance to tell me exactly what you need in this course. No more guessing—just simple, effective tools you can use when you need them most.

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