Have you ever felt like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your child, unsure of what’s going to set them off next? Or maybe you’ve tried every tip and trick you’ve seen online, but nothing really seems to work?

You’re not alone. Many parents feel frustrated and lost when it comes to their child’s behavior (and it makes it hard for them to enjoy time with their child).

But what if I told you that your child’s reactions aren’t random? That there’s actually a pattern—one that, once you understand, will completely change how you approach parenting? Yup, that's what I'm telling you.

The key isn’t in finding the perfect strategy. It’s in understanding your child’s sensory needs at their core so you can choose the right strategy for them.

By the end of this blog, my goal is for you to be more motivated then ever to stop just getting frustrated with your child and instead to start understanding them—so you can bring more connection, less chaos, and a whole lot more happiness to your lives.

In this blog:

• Why using random strategies doesn’t work
• What’s really happening inside your child’s body
• How understanding sensory needs can transform your daily life
  
   

Just so you know, this blog is based on my and my guests’ personal experiences, and research I’ve done as a pediatric occupational therapist. None of the below is medical, occupational therapy, or feeding therapy advice. When you buy through links on this page, we may earn a commission. Learn more about affiliate links.

Why One-Size-Fits-All Strategies Don’t Work

 My parents fall into this vicous cycle: see a random strategy online, get super excited to try it out, it doesn't work for your child, you find another random one, try it...it doesn't work either. All of a sudden you've tried a dozen different things, and you decide nothing works and that it just "is what it is."

Here's a couple examples:

• You hear that a weighted blanket helps kids calm down, so you buy one—only for your child to push it off immediately.
• Someone swears by noise-canceling headphones, but when you put them on your child, they scream even louder.
• You set up a calm-down corner with fidget toys, but your child won’t go near it.

Why?

Because these strategies aren’t one-size-fits-all. Your child’s sensory system is unique, just like a fingerprint, and what works for one child likely won't work the same way for another. In order to find effective strategies for your child, you first need to understand their unique sensory system.

What’s Really Happening in Your Child’s Body?

Sensory processing is how the brain takes in and responds to the world around it. It’s happening all the time, most of the time we don't even notice it's happening.


For example, sensory processing is responsible for making our head turn when a car beeps. It's main job is to protect us, so when our senses "hear" the horn, it tells our brain to turn and look to make sure were safe.

Sensory processing is a big topic, but today, I'm introducing you to just one specific sensory challenge (and the one people talk about the most): sensory modulation—how sensitive your body is to sensory input.

Some occupational therapists say there are three types of sensory modulation challenges (over-responsivity, under-responsivity, seeking), while others break it into four (avoiding, sensitive, disregarding, seeking). The only difference is that the four breaks down over-responsivity into two different categories.

Why does this matter?

How you define your child’s sensory patterns helps you truly understand what they need, so you can actually help.

The 4 Sensory Modulation Types

• Avoiding: Sensory input feels like too much, so they actively work to avoid it (e.g., covering ears, refusing certain clothes).
• Sensitive: Sensory input also feels like too much, but doesn’t tend to go out of their way avoid it until they get extremely overwhelmed 
• Disregarding: Sensory input is too little, so they may not notice it
• Seeking: Body need more more more input, and actively looks for it
  
  

Think of your child’s brain like a radio tuning into sensory input:
🎵 Too loud (Avoiding/Sensitive)
🎵 Too quiet (Disregarding)
🎵 Keeps turning it up (Seeking)

How Understanding Sensory Needs Help You

1. When you understand your child's sensory sensory system, you can see a meltdown coming before it happens and proactively help. Doesn’t that just sound magical? Of course, this isn't going to happen all the time - we can't control every sensory trigger - like fire alarms, or the sun, but we can work to help minimize the impact. For example, if you know overhead lights are challenging for your child - you can bring sunglasses to the grocery store.
   
   
2. Instead of feeling frustrated by your child’s reactions, you start recognizing them as communication. Kids aren't usually trying to be "bad" - they're trying to tell you something isn't working for their body. When we figure out what that is, we can offer the support they need! For example, if we realize that the ankle socks are too tight around the ankle, we can choose a sock with a looser ankle that they actually feel comfortable wearing.
   
   
3. When your child gets the sensory support they need, they can be happier and more successful throughout their days! For example, if they have a hard time sitting in class, and we give them the movement they need, they can focus better, get yelled at less, and come home happier :) 
    

I know this can seem overwhelming at first, but once you start seeing the patterns in your child, everything begins to make sense. It’s not about adding more to your plate—it’s about making everything—from morning routines to playdate— easier for you and your child because you understand what they need! 

Feeling motivated? My Sensory Survival Guide for Parents is the perfect place begin. Click here to grab your FREE copy! 

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