THE SENSORY MADE SIMPLE PODCAST

Transcript

Welcome to Sensory Made Simple, a podcast dedicated to helping moms figure out how to understand your child's sensory needs and how to support them, whether it's tackling meltdowns, eating new foods, or just getting through the day without feeling completely drained.

Hi, I'm Dr.

Sam, a pediatric occupational therapist and busy boy mom.

And each week, I'll share simple, realistic tips that fit into your busy life.

Because believe me, I get it.

Adding one more thing to your plate feels overwhelming enough.

No complicated terms, just easy to follow strategies to help your child feel calm, confident, and understood.

So grab your coffee, chances are I've got mine too.

Pop in your earbuds and let's figure this out together.

A little note before we begin.

Please be advised that this information in this podcast is not medical or occupational therapy advice and is just for general and informational knowledge.

Okay, let's get to the show.

Have you ever felt like you're constantly walking on eggshells around your child, unsure of what's gonna set them off next?

Or maybe you're exhausted from trying every tip and trick you see online, but nothing seems to really stick.

If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

Many parents feel lost when it comes to understanding their child's behavior, especially when it comes to sensory processing and eating.

They wonder, why are they falling apart at the smallest little thing?

Why do they seem absolutely fine and then they go from zero to a hundred and have a full meltdown the next moment?

It makes you feel like you're having a hard time enjoying your day and even enjoying the time with your child.

If that sounds like you, I know there can be a lot of shame around that feeling.

And I just want to tell you that you are definitely not alone.

I have heard this from so many parents of children with sensory processing challenges, especially when you don't fully understand what's going on yet because you don't know what to do to help them.

That's really frustrating and you don't know why it's happening, which is really frustrating.

And it just makes it really hard for the two of you to connect.

So you are not alone there.

And again, this is this episode for you because we are going to talk about where to go from there.

So what if I told you, though, that your child's behavior isn't actually that random, that there's a pattern to it.

And once you understand that pattern, not only will it change the way you're parenting, but it will also enable you and your child to enjoy each other more.

Well, that is exactly what I'm telling you.

In this episode, I'm going to cover why every single parent should understand their child's sensory needs.

And what doing this will do to help you transform how you approach your relationship with your child.

So what we're going to cover today, we're going to cover why using random strategies doesn't work.

What's really happening inside your child's body?

How understanding their sensory needs can transform your daily life and theirs.

And how you can start tuning in to your child's unique sensory story and sensory system right now.

By the end of this episode, my hope is that you will walk away more motivated than ever to stop just being frustrated with your child and instead start understanding them.

So that you can bring more connection, less chaos, and a whole lot more happiness to both of your lives.

Okay, so let's jump in.

Why those sensory strategies don't work alone?

Okay, the cycle that most parents fall into, and I see this all the time, you are scrolling social media, usually Instagram or TikTok.

Some kind of strategy comes up and you're like, ooh, ooh, I gotta try this with my child.

You try it, and it doesn't work.

Okay, so you move on, you see something else, ooh, let me try that.

That doesn't work either.

Then before you know it, you have tried a bazillion different things and it feels like absolutely nothing works and you are totally discouraged and kind of starting to give up here.

You're starting to wonder, is it just is what it is and nothing's ever gonna change.

Let's do a little example.

You're scrolling or you're talking to somebody and you hear that a weighted blanket helps calm a lot of kids down.

So you immediately run and buy one and your child just pushes it off and wants absolutely nothing to do with it.

Or another parent swears by noise canceling headphones, but when you put it on their child, they just start screaming because they don't want something on their ears.

Why is this happening?

Well, because these sensory strategies aren't one size fits all.

Just because it's a sensory strategy does not mean that it's going to work for every single child.

Every single sensory system, every child's sensory system is unique like a thumbprint.

So you know how nobody's thumbprint is exactly the same?

It is the same thing when it comes to the sensory system.

Our sensory system is built from the time we're born, from every single different sensation we encounter, from every experience we have, that forms our sensory system.

So what works for one child might not work for another, and further than that, you might have to introduce it a different way to your child.

You might have to try it a different way with your child.

Every child is really so unique.

So when you just grab these strategies blindly, usually you haven't actually taken that step back to ask, what is actually happening in my child's body?

What do they actually need in this moment?

Is this strategy what they need or am I just randomly trying it because somebody said that it works?

To get to that point where it works, we first need to understand sensory processing and their sensory system.

So what is sensory processing?

Sensory processing is how our brain takes in all the world around us.

So what we're seeing, what we're hearing, what we're smelling, etc.

And then how we respond to it.

So I like to use the example of a car coming, and we hear the horn honking.

What is sensory processing?

It's our body hearing that horn honking, and then telling our head, oh hey, you gotta look, you gotta see where that car is.

That is sensory processing.

It is taking in the information and how we use it, and then how we respond to it.

So let's take it a step further.

We turn to see the car, we see it coming, and then our sensory system and our brain and our body tells us, you gotta get out of the way.

Right?

So it is how we take in the information, how our brain interprets it, and then how our body responds to it.

It is happening every single moment of every single day.

And most of the time, we don't even really think about it.

It's just happening in the background.

When it comes to sensory challenges, there's several different types of sensory challenges that a child or an adult can experience.

We're gonna talk about a couple of them today, but know that there are more that we have not gone into, and it is important to understand all of those different ones to really get a full picture of your child.

So the ones we're gonna talk about today are the ones that are the ones you hear about more often.

You always hear these words, sensory seeking, sensory avoiding, sensory sensitive, and maybe you don't really know what they mean or what that even connects to, right?

So there is also a side note.

Now that I am doing these podcasts kind of off the cuff, I went back and listened.

I say right a lot, so I'm sorry.

You may hear me say that quite a lot.

You may hear me say that quite a lot.

I'm trying not to say it as much this episode, but I'm sure it will come up.

So there are different challenges that kids experience when it comes to sensory processing, and the ones that we talk about the most tend to be what we call sensory modulation.

Again, that's a big word, you know.

I don't love big words.

When we're talking about sensory modulation, we're talking about how sensitive a child is to input.

So how much they respond to a certain thing.

When we say this, we mean when you hear the car horn honking, essentially how loud does a person hear it?

So how loud to their sensory system?

Is it something they don't even notice when the horn honks?

Or do they hear a horn honk and it literally feels like somebody is banging on their head?

It's so loud.

So when it comes to sensory modulation challenges, so again, how sensitive a person is to sensory input, you'll either hear people say that there are four different types or three different types of sensory modulation challenges.

So the ones that most people say are sensory seeking and sensory avoiding.

When we talk about sensory seeking, we are talking about a child who is usually looking for more input.

They're moving, they're crashing, they're jumping, they're touching everything, they can't sit still because their body needs input, it needs movement, they like a lot of lights, a lot of sounds.

That is usually what we're talking about when we talk about sensory seeking.

Sensory avoiding, on the other hand, is kids who actually go the other way, right?

They don't want the sensory input, so they are moving away from it.

They're trying to not touch certain textures or eat certain foods or they cover their ears or they're overwhelmed in really big environments.

They try and run away or shut down.

They are actively avoiding sensory input.

Now, the other two that are not talked about as much are sensory disregarding.

And so these are the kids that actually don't notice sensory input as much.

So those are the kids who they might not even notice that the horn honked on a car.

They might not hear it at all.

They are usually a lot more messier when they're eating.

They have a hard time with balance and paying attention to where their body is because they're not feeling the input the same way.

And the last one that this one is kind of gets grouped into sensory avoiding sometimes.

That's why you don't hear about it as much.

So it's over-responsivity.

It kind of gets grouped into that.

But it's sensory-sensitive.

So these kids are also sensitive to noises and textures and things of that nature.

But they don't actively avoid it.

They're more passive about it.

So you might not notice it as much.

They might be feeling it, but they might not respond until they truly shut down.

Okay, so I want to go back to when I said there are three or four different types, because I know some of you might be confused by that.

When it comes to sensory challenges, people explain it in tons of different ways, and it can be really, really confusing.

So they talk about this modulation, so how sensitive people are, in one of two ways.

They either say there are three, and that you are either over-responsive, under-responsive, or seeking, and that is usually how you and your brain respond to input, or they talk about it as four.

But what I want you to know is we are talking about the same things here.

We are just dividing it differently.

So they are dividing over-responsive.

So responding more, responding quicker to input, getting overwhelmed quicker by input, and they are dividing that into sensory avoiding and sensory sensitive.

So whether they actively avoid input, and they run away from it, or they cry, or they scream, or are they kind of passive about it, they don't actively try to avoid it until they shut down.

Again, my goal in this podcast is really to help you break down these big words, make sensory less confusing.

And I know this is an area where a lot of people get confused because they're seeing online, they're seeing three, they're seeing four, over-responsive, under-responsive, sensory seeking, sensory sensitivity.

And so I want you to know we're talking about the same things here.

There are just a lot of different terms to explain it.

Now, I mentioned that there are also other types of sensory processing challenges.

There are.

I don't want to get too much into that today because I think it's a lot at once, and I think it's going to be really overwhelming.

So that is something that we talk about in other podcast episodes.

And I absolutely highly recommend that as soon as you finish this episode, or not even when you finish it, stop it right now.

And I want you to download my guide, my Sensory Survival Guide for Parents, How to Decode Your Child's Sensory Behaviors.

Go to www.drsamgoldman.com/sensorysurvivalguide.

Again, www.drsamgoldman.com/sensorysurvivalguide.

And I literally explain all of these different types of sensory processing difficulties in very easy to understand, parent-friendly terms, people-friendly terms.

This is what we really should be using when we're talking to anybody, so that everybody understands it the same way.

So go over there, take a look at that, download it, and it is really your get started guide on understanding and decoding your child's sensory system.

Okay, but why does this actually matter?

What does sensory sensitivity, what does sensory seeking, what does any of this have to do with making your life less chaotic and helping you connect with your child more?

Well, when you actually understand where your child's sensory system is struggling and how your child's sensory system responds, you can stop guessing.

This is when you are able to know, okay, I know that my child seeks sensory input.

I know that when we go to the playground, they might not just go down the slide.

They might be jumping off the slide for that extra input to crash.

When you know that, then you can finally start supporting them in ways that actually work for them and their body.

Let's go back to that weighted blanket example.

Maybe you went and you bought your child a weighted blanket because you heard that proprioceptive input is super helpful for sensory seekers.

Again, we're sticking with the sensory seekers right now, just because that is the one that we were talking about.

But I'm not saying that weighted blankets can only work for them.

Again, very specific.

You need to know your child's own sensory system.

And of course, that's something I love to help you with.

But weighted blanket.

Maybe you heard from somebody that they are great for helping sensory seekers.

Now, we talked about these active versus passive kids.

Are they actively looking for input?

Or are they happy sitting there kind of passively and receiving it?

If you have a child who needs active input, meaning their body needs to do the movement to get that input, they're probably not going to want the weighted blanket.

They might not be ready to sit down and have a blanket on them.

They might be needing to go to climb, to crash things where their body is actively moving.

Now, on the other hand, another child may be very happy with that passive input, but you don't know until you go back and you actually find out what is going on in your child's body, what their sensory system needs, and how their sensory system reacts.

Only then are you able to look at a strategy online and say, ooh, you know what?

This is gonna work for my child, or this might work for my child.

This actually looks like it's really helpful for them because you wanna know why you're doing what you're doing.

So again, I'm not saying that weight of blankets don't work for sensory seekers or for active kids.

It more just depends on your personal child's needs and your personal child's body.

And that is why it is so, so, so important to understand sensory processing and your child's sensory profile.

Okay, but what is understanding actually gonna do for you?

Let's put this into more relatable transformations, right?

How is understanding your child's sensory needs going to help your life?

These are my opinions, and I'm gonna give you three.

Number one, it's gonna make your life less chaotic.

It can help make your life less chaotic.

Why?

Because when you know what your child needs, you can see that meltdown coming before it happens, and you can proactively help to try and curb it.

So to try and help it not happen.

Doesn't that sound magical, being able to help prevent the meltdown or know when it's coming?

Now, it is not going to work every time, and I think that is one of the most important things for parents to know, that we cannot prevent meltdowns all the time.

Kids' bodies are different every day.

The type of input we're getting is different every day.

We can't control the world around us and the input that we get.

So, meltdowns are going to happen.

But when you understand your child's sensory system and what it needs, you are going to be able and be in a better place to help them.

You're going to know what strategies are more helpful in these moments.

You're going to see something coming, and you're going to be able to maybe try and avoid it or to change it.

Let's do an example.

If your child is always melting down at the grocery store, and they're sensitive maybe to the lights in the grocery store and the sound, maybe you bring sunglasses or headphones to block out the lights and the sound.

Or maybe they need more input.

Maybe they are trying to crash into things.

Maybe something like a fidget toy or pushing the grocery cart might be helpful for them.

Number two, it helps you be more connected with your child because you're seeing their behaviors, and I don't like that word behaviors as in bad, but everything we do is a behavior.

So you're seeing their behaviors for what they really are.

So instead of feeling immediately and constantly frustrated by how your child's acting, you actually start to recognize those actions and those behaviors as communication.

So for example, if your child is refusing socks, it's usually not because they're just trying to be difficult.

Usually something in their nervous system is telling them something is off.

Maybe the band on the sock is too tight on their ankles.

I know that happens for me.

Or maybe that little line at the top is itchy and uncomfortable for them.

They're not trying to be difficult.

They're trying to show you that something is uncomfortable for them.

And so when we take a look at it from this aspect, from that sensory aspect, from understanding how their sensory system is responding, it helps us better connect with them and better communicate with them and help them better.

And this helps lead to happier, more confident children.

Because when we understand their sensory system and what it needs, we can help them feel more safe in their body, they can focus better, they can play better, and they can enjoy life more.

When we give them the strategies, they need to succeed.

So for example, if your child is somebody who really likes to move and they have a hard time sitting down at school, and then they're constantly getting in trouble at school, understanding this and understanding what kind of movement, what kind of sensory input their body needs to become at school makes their day better because they're not getting in trouble as much.

They're able to focus, they're able to engage with their friends, they're not constantly getting held up by the teacher.

And so that is just a great example of how sensory strategies and understanding sensory strategies can really change their every day.

Additionally, level two is once you understand their sensory system, when we can teach them to understand their own body and to ask for specific sensory strategies, for specific sensory input, this is the game changer.

Imagine, instead of you trying to predict what's going to happen with them or guess what sensory strategy they need, which again, we don't want you guessing.

We want you to be doing this strategically.

But imagine that if instead of on you, they understood their body and they were able to tell you what it needs, how incredible and life-changing that is.

So level one is parents understanding their child's sensory system.

Of course, if you have an older kid, we're gonna do this in conjunction.

But level two is as they grow, we want them to understand their own sensory system.

So they can request what they need.

I know there's a good chance that you found me or you're here today because you're trying to manage meltdowns and you're trying to manage what we call those behaviors.

Again, I am not a fan of that word.

They are not behaviors, they are communication.

But we're trying to manage those.

And what I want you to take away from this episode is it's not just about meltdowns and shutting down.

It's about helping your child get what their body needs every single day so that they can feel safe, understood, supported, and have happier days with less chaos for you and them.

I know this feels really overwhelming at first.

It's a lot.

But I promise once you start finally understanding your child's specific, unique sensory system, again, their sensory fingerprint, everything really begins to make so much more sense.

It's not about adding more work to your plate, even though it might feel like it right now.

It's actually about making parenting easier by understanding what your child needs.

Okay, takeaways from this episode.

There's two big ones.

Number one, sensory processing is not just about choosing random sensory strategies.

It's about seeing your child's unique sensory system, seeing them and what they need, and strategically using strategies to support them based on their body.

And number two, when you start tuning in to these sensory needs, everything from morning routines to play dates hopefully gets easier.

Because when you understand what their body needs, you can give it to them.

Okay, so I told you at the beginning of this episode, my goal was to help you feel motivated to take action now.

Was to help you really see that you need to understand your child's sensory system.

And that it is going to lead to so, so, so many wonderful outcomes for you.

So I truly hope that that accomplished that for you.

Again, if you have not already downloaded my Sensory Survival Guide for Parents, I highly recommend you start there, because it is really the first step.

It gives you a great overview of everything you need to know.

We break it down into four really easy steps.

So you can find that at drsamgoldman.com/sensorysurvivalguide.

Before we go, I do have one big request for you.

If you love this episode, if you love this podcast, I would be so, so, so grateful if you might leave me a quick review.

Your reviews tell Apple, tell Google, tell Spotify that this podcast is helping you and that more parents and more moms, just like you, need this information.

Plus, I love hearing what you like about the podcast and what's been helpful for you.

So if you wouldn't mind, before you go, I would just be so honored if you would leave me a review.

Podcast, Apple, wherever you are listening.

I'll see you next time.

Thank you so much for joining me today on Sensory Made Simple.

I hope you're heading off with a little extra confidence and some easy ideas to tackle those sensory struggles ahead on.

If this episode was helpful or gave you a tip you can't wait to try, it would mean so much if you would share it with a friend or leave a quick review.

It helps more moms like you find the show and support their child too.

And remember every small step you take makes a big difference for your child.

You've got this and I am cheering you on every step of the way.

See you next time.