THE SENSORY MADE SIMPLE PODCAST

Transcript

Welcome to Sensory Made Simple, a podcast dedicated to helping moms figure out how to understand your child's sensory needs and how to support them.

Whether it's tackling meltdowns, eating new foods, or just getting through the day without feeling completely drained.

Hi, I'm Dr.

Sam, a pediatric occupational therapist and busy boy mom.

And each week, I'll share simple, realistic tips that fit into your busy life.

Because believe me, I get it.

Adding one more thing to your plate feels overwhelming enough.

No complicated terms, just easy to follow strategies to help your child feel calm, confident, and understood.

So grab your coffee, chances are I've got mine too.

Pop in your earbuds, and let's figure this out together.

A little note before we begin.

Please be advised that this information in this podcast is not medical or occupational therapy advice, and is just for general and informational knowledge.

Okay, let's get to the show.

Do you feel like your child goes from zero to a hundred out of nowhere?

One minute, they seem totally fine, they're playing, they're happy, and the next they are melting down, refusing to do something or acting totally out of control.

But here's the thing, they were likely tiny signs your child gave you that they were getting overwhelmed or overstimulated before that pop.

And today, I'm teaching you how to tune into those small hints and show you why catching them early can really make all the difference.

They go straight from 0 to 100 is something I hear from parents all of the time.

But here's the thing, in my experience, they're not usually going from 0 to 100.

When I worked with these kids and I worked with the parents, we were able to sit down and really watch and observe and see that there were subtle, subtle small hints that they were getting and going to be overwhelmed and overstimulated.

Yes, they happened quick.

It happened within seconds.

It happened within minutes.

But the hints and the signs were there.

It just took someone who knew what to look for and what to observe.

Now, when we're talking about meltdowns, we're talking about sensory overload.

So when a child gets to that breaking point, because everything and all the sensory input around them just feels like too much.

I want you to think about a time that you just popped.

Did you just go from zero to popping?

Probably not.

If you're like me, something was happening, maybe you were already having a bad day, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and then you spilled your water, and the dog was barking, and one child had the TV on really loud, and another child was having a meltdown, and then your husband comes over to ask you something, and all of a sudden, you just pop.

Because you are so overwhelmed.

Now, from the outside, your family probably looked at you and were like, whoa, where did that come from?

One second, we were calm, we were happy, we were having fun.

And then the next second, you're screaming at everybody.

Those were there.

The signs were there.

Just like you built up, and then there were that pop, our kids built up until they have that pop.

They add up, and these big reactions and the meltdowns are a result of too much happening before their body is able to cope with it.

Now, my goal today is to help you catch those subtle signs that you might have been missing before.

So you can step in and hopefully help before the meltdown happens and try to avoid it totally.

So what exactly are those signs that you might have been missing?

Hang in there with me.

I know you're thinking, Sam, I am not missing them.

But have an open mind here, because I want you to go back, and I want you to go back with an open mind, and just look at your child through a different lens, and see if any of these are there, or even something different.

So these are going to look different for every kid.

But go back and just observe before the meltdown happens.

What are they doing?

What is happening?

They're usually small, very, very subtle cues that your child probably doesn't even notice they're doing.

They're not sitting there like, hey mom, here's a hint.

It's just something they are probably naturally doing to try and regulate theirself.

And they do it routinely as they're getting overstimulated.

They're really easy to overlook because as parents sometimes, we just think they're being silly, or they're mad, or they're acting out.

When our child also gets upset, we're usually just so worried about trying to calm them down that we're not actually looking for those cues.

So for ease, I'm gonna divide it into three different sections today.

First one is body language cues.

So what is their body telling you?

Something we see a lot, especially with kids who have a hard time with textures and getting wet, getting dirty is finger spreading.

So kind of just holding their hands up and spreading their fingers side to side.

Or stiffening of their body, so they're just getting really tense.

Clutching their fists, turning their head away from you, turning their eyes away from you, backing away from you, rubbing their hands on their clothing or wiping them off a lot, especially if they got something on them.

Their cheeks getting really red or flushed, holding their breath or reading really fast, moving a lot, so shifting their weight a lot, getting really silly or excited.

We think that they're just silly, but really it's because their sensory system is getting overwhelmed.

And avoiding looking at you totally, so totally shifting that gaze away, like I don't see you, this isn't happening.

I wanted to give you a little example of what a body language cue could look like.

So, I recently was working with a child on handwriting.

And the parents told me he hates working on handwriting.

He gets overwhelmed really easily, and he always just totally shuts down.

Again, zero to a hundred in one minute.

Now, in our first couple sessions, we did have some of those zero to a hundred moments.

And they happened quick, right?

We're working, we think everything's going well, maybe we do a little correction, and boom, we're totally shut down, leaving the table.

Now, as we went through our sessions and we observed, something I noticed is that before the meltdown happened, so the first time maybe there was a mistake, or the first time we had to do a little correction, he would wipe his face, kind of like rub his face, rub his eyes.

And then he would try, try, try so hard again.

But then if he made another mistake, that was when the meltdown happened.

So what we did is we started to notice that, again, he was wiping his face or rubbing his face, and that was our cue.

That was our cue, like, hey, this is really hard for me.

I'm getting upset.

I'm getting overwhelmed.

And so we took a step back at that moment.

Instead of continuing, instead of trying to force through it, we took a step back.

We did something to help him feel really confident, like he was doing really great and feeling good in himself.

And then maybe later we would try again on that harder thing, or if we would just keep it at a different level, if maybe the activity we were doing was too hard.

Doing this, we were able to get through our handwriting and through our activities and make a lot of progress, because most of the time, the pop isn't worth it.

If we're noticing that they're getting overwhelmed and we're able to see that cue, taking it back a step when that cue comes helps them re-regulate and actually get to our end goal.

Okay, section number two of Signs You Might Be Missing.

Avoidance and Escape Behaviors.

So this is when our fighter flight response kicks in.

So that flight, that running away.

So something that we see a lot is just totally ignoring you or what you said and going to another activity.

Leaving the room suddenly.

Hiding, physically hiding behind furniture or under a blanket.

Refusing to join an activity without an obvious reason or giving up very quickly.

So this happens a lot with kids with sensory challenges.

They don't even want to try the activity or they'll try it for two seconds and then give up because they get really frustrated that the activity is too hard.

So kids love, love, love to do things that they feel confident at, right?

It feels good to be confident and to do something and to achieve it.

And kids with sensory challenges, they don't get that feeling as much because things are so hard for them, especially things that are new.

So new activities that they have to learn, they haven't mastered that skill.

It's really frustrating for them, often really confusing.

So we see them give up a lot quickly, a lot quicker.

I did want to give you another example here.

So, reading.

Let's talk about reading, because reading is often very challenging for children who experience sensory challenges.

So a lot of the times we'll hear those kids say, I don't want to read it.

I want you to read to me.

I like when you read.

You read better.

I like it more when you read.

I'm more relaxed now.

Now, a lot of the time, it is because it's hard.

And so parents will tell me, well, I just don't think they like reading.

And they're not interested in it.

I don't think they find it fun.

But they're actually telling you, this is hard.

And then as they start to get more confident, so maybe they found one book that they read and they read really well, all of a sudden you see that they want to read that book to you all the time.

And so really clue in to that, is it really something that they're not interested in?

Because sure, yeah, that can happen too.

It might not be something that's interesting to them.

Or is it possible that it's too challenging?

And something we talk about a lot as occupational therapists is something called the just right fit.

When it comes to working with kids in activities and playing games, pretty much anything, going out, doing family things, anything in life, we talk about that we want the just right fit.

We want it to be something that is challenging enough that it's fun.

So, something that's way too easy, a lot of the times kids aren't interested in because it's way too easy.

So we want it to be something that's interesting to them, but then we also don't want it to be too hard that they shut down and they don't want to do it.

It's an intricate balance.

It needs to be interesting enough without being too hard.

When it's too hard, kids are going to shut down and we're going to see all of these different behaviors that we're talking about.

And again, behavior, if you were with me on, I think it was the last episode, I don't say behavior as in something bad.

All the things that we do in a day are behavior and they are all a form of communication.

But we are going to see these behaviors if something is just too, too challenging.

So what do we need to do?

We need to make it easier for them so that we get that just right fit.

Okay, verbal cues.

This is that third category of those subtle signs you might be missing.

Sometimes they are literally telling us that it is too hard without saying it directly.

So I'm bored or this is stupid.

This is often a code for I'm overwhelmed.

I'm uncomfortable.

I don't feel confident.

Another one is this is for babies.

They might also repeat the same phrase over and over.

This is very common with autistic children.

They're scripting a lot of the time as a way of self-soothing.

Or suddenly going silent during an activity, shutting down, being quiet.

Their brain is maybe getting overloaded, and that could be a sign to us.

Again, that just right fit was missed.

I want to talk a little bit about that I'm bored.

This is stupid.

This is for babies.

Again, this goes back to when a lot of the parents tell me, I just don't think they're interested in it.

I see this a lot in the kids that I worked with in the past in feeding therapy.

They would say that the food play or the activities that we were doing with food, this is boring.

This isn't fun.

This is only for babies.

I don't need to play with my food.

And then the interesting thing was, when the food was not a challenging food, when it was something that they liked, when it was something that they ate all the time, all of a sudden, oh, this was a ton of fun.

And as they gained new foods, them playing with those foods was a ton of fun.

It was their way of telling me, I don't feel comfortable right now.

Like, this is too much for me.

And as a defense mechanism, they were a lot of the time saying, well, this is for babies, I don't want to do this.

But in reality, a lot of the time it was too hard.

So you're going to have to tease out with your child, is it too hard?

Is it too boring for them?

You know them the best.

Now that you know what to look for, what those subtle signs may be, what do you do with all of that information?

Well, number one, my point is not for you to stress about every single thing that your child does.

Instead, start paying attention to patterns.

What subtle cues, what little things are they doing do you notice before they get upset?

Are they always rubbing their hands before they get frustrated?

Do they leave the room before a meltdown?

What are those patterns that you're noticing?

Something you can talk about, even if they don't have the words for it yet, is to validate what they're feeling.

So it looks like that noise is really bothering you.

Do you need a quieter spot?

Should we leave the room?

Or I see you're scrunching your hands.

Do you need a break before we keep going?

Giving them the option to step away or to get what their body needs from a sensory standpoint is amazing.

And then telling them this and also pointing out that the noise is bothering, so we can do this, or you're scrunching your hands.

Do you feel like this?

That helps them pair that together and start to learn how to advocate for themselves in the future.

We can also take it back a notch.

So just like I was talking about with the child that I was working with handwriting, if the activity is too hard, if we don't have that just right fit, we need to help bring them back down.

We need to help them calm down.

Again, this is our sign before the pop, before the meltdown.

So how do we help cool down their sensory system again so that we can continue on and have a great time in our day?

So instead of pushing through that breaking point, take a step back and try a different approach.

It doesn't mean that you're giving up.

It's about meeting your child where they are, and it's about helping them reset before everything gets too overwhelming.

If you're looking to take this a step further, and you want to learn how to help your child re-regulate in these moments, I want to introduce you to my course Sensory Made Simple, where I teach you how to decode your child's behaviors and strategically choose simple, practical strategies that will actually help them and their body.

Make sure you're on the waitlist so you don't miss the doors when they open and secure that early bird pricing.

You're going to find that at www.drsamgorman.com/sensorywaitlist.

I know how defeating all of these meltdowns can feel, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere and you often blame yourself.

You find yourself a lot of the time sitting there like, oh, why did I push that one extra time?

Why did I say this?

Why did I do that?

But here's the truth.

Every single meltdown is an opportunity to learn more about what your child needs.

Of course, we don't want them to happen.

They're not fun for them.

They're not fun for you.

But every single time they do reach that breaking point, they are giving us clues.

And so give yourself grace after you come down, and after they come down, think back and start looking at those signs.

When we start recognizing these signs early, we can actually take action to prevent the meltdowns in the future before they start.

How amazing does that sound?

I know you might still feel unsure of how to respond in these moments though.

And again, that's where Sensory Made Simple comes in.

This course is gonna be designed to give you the tools and strategies to understand your child's sensory needs and respond with confidence.

So you can handle these challenges before they spiral.

Join the waitlist now and be the first to know when the door is open.

You don't want to miss this chance to feel more in control and empowered and connected to your child.

So again, you will find that at www.drsamgoldman.com/sensorywaitlist.

Thanks so much for joining me today.

I really hope that you found this episode helpful.

I've been loving the emails from you guys when you are enjoying the episodes.

So please reach out, let me know what you think about it, and let me know what else you need that would help.

I'll see you next time.

Thank you so much for joining me today on Sensory Made Simple.

I hope you're heading off with a little extra confidence and some easy ideas to tackle those sensory struggles ahead on.

If this episode was helpful or gave you a tip you can't wait to try, it would mean so much if you would share it with a friend or leave a quick review.

It helps more moms like you find the show and support their child too.

And remember, every small step you take makes a big difference for your child.

You've got this, and I am cheering you on every step of the way.

See you next time.