#02 - Ditching Pressure at the Table

Hello and welcome back! Today we are talking about pressuring your child at the table. If you guys follow me on Instagram @DrSamGoldman, you know this is a topic I am wildly passionate about. 

I personally DO NOT like using pressure at the table to help your child eat. 

There’s a couple reasons for this:

1. We want your child to be a confident independent eater. When you’re pressuring them to eat, they are learning to eat because you told them to, not because their body told them to. And while that seems good in the short run, i doesn’t really lead to independence at the table.
   
   
2. If their body is telling them "hey, I DON'T want to eat that food," and then we force them to there is a very high likelihood they’ll have a negative reaction to that food. Which then reinforces that they shouldn’t eat it, and makes trying new foods harder.
   
   
3. Because they are ignoring their body’s messages, and eating because they are being pressured to, it promotes disconnecting from their body and ignoring their body’s messages. But what we really want is for them to connect TO their body and help it be more confident at the table.

As a parent you want your child to be healthy, so when they’re not eating what you think is enough quantity or nutrition, it’s very natural to try and pressure them to eat or eat more. But in the long run, it doesn’t usually lead to a relationship with food. Instead, it usually leads to mealtime battles because your child feels the need to protect themselves.

So what kind of pressure are we talking about exactly? 

When I say pressure, I mean:

•  Forcing your child to eat certain foods or certain amount of foods
•  1 bite rules
•  Bargaining
•  Bribing them with sweets or dessert
•  Guilting them - so for example: "BUT you ate it yesterdayyy"
•  And anything similar to this

 
Now, there are also more subtle forms of pressure that we often don’t even realize we’re doing:

•  For example, when the entire family is watching your child to see if they enjoy a food when they take a bite. Think about this for a second, how would you feel if everyone at the table was watching you eat. So be on the lookout for those.

You mightttt be rolling your eyes at me and thinking “Sam, I have tried no pressure, it doesn’t work” 

In my experience, most parents who have tried this, haven’t tried it fully, and haven’t tried it for long enough. Usually, parents will go back and try it for 1 or 2 meals, or 1 or 2 days, and then decide it doesn’t work.

But here’s the thing, for this to work, your child needs to know with 100% certainty, that you’re not going to pressure them to eat. In order for them to feel safe exploring their plate on their own, they need to know you’re not going to try and make them take a bite as soon as they touch a food. And this takes time and consistency. 

BUT does this mean that if your child just doesn’t eat you shouldn’t be worried? No, that’s not at all the case. Before doing this or changing your child’s diet at all, I highly recommend checking with your pediatrician and/or a dietician to make sure their nutritional needs are being met by the foods they regularly and happily eat. Some kids may need some additional supplementation to help their body get what they need while they learn, and your medical team can help you determine if this is the case. 

You may also be thinking - but what if they never touch or bite or interact with that food on their own?


Well, some kids DO need more help exploring and learning new foods. No pressure doesn’t mean we don’t help them learn. It just means that we do it without pressure and fighting. Instead, we do it in a fun way that gradually encourages them to become more comfortable around new foods. And this is what I teach the parents in my Food Explorers Membership every single month.

You CAN help kids explore new foods WITHOUT pressure. If you’re ready to learn how, go to @DrSamGoldman on Instagram, and click the link in my bio to join us now.

And don’t you worry, I’m going to talk more about some of the strategies I use in #03 - Bringing Fun Back to the Table. 

So head over to #03 to keep reading! 

Legal

***This post/podcast is not sponsored. The opinions and content of this blog are unique to the writer unless otherwise stated. No compensation is received for the links shared.

Disclaimers: The information provided by OT 4 ME (“we,” “us” or “our”) on theot4me.com (the “Site”) is for general informational purposes only. The Site cannot and does not contain medical advice. Any medical information is provided as my/our personal experiences is not a substitute for professional advice. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical advice.

THE USE OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THIS SITE IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. Although this blog/podcast contains external links WE DO NOT WARRANT, ENDORSE, GUARANTEE, OR ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ACCURACY OR RELIABILITY OF ANY INFORMATION OFFERED BY THIRD-PARTY WEBSITES LINKED THROUGH THE SITE OR ANY WEBSITE OR FEATURE LINKED IN ANY BANNER OR OTHER ADVERTISING.