#05 - HOW to Help Your Child Learn to Eat Without the Pressure

So there’s something you’ve heard me say this over and over in these last couple blogs and podcasts  – and that is that I am not a fan of pressuring children to eat.

But…that may have left you wondering HOW do you help a child eat if you don’t pressure them.

One thing parents always say to me is: I’ve tried not pressuring them, but they just ignore the food. 

 
Well the truth is…Some children DO need a little more help. While removing the pressure is a very necessary step to helping your child become more comfortable at this table, many fail to explain what the next step is. HOW to help them learn to eat without it.

If you’re here with me today, I’m guessing that at some point you’ve tried removing the pressure from the table before. But then you got worried (and frustrated) when your child just ignored the new/challenging food on their plate.

And then…you went back to pressuring and “take a bite” rules.

But what if I told you there was a different way? A way to help them learn and engage with food WITHOUT the pressure?

We call this exploring.

As an adult, we can look at zucchini and know it’s a zucchini. We have an idea of what the outside peel feels like, what’s on the inside, how it feels in our mouth, and the taste. We know this from our previous food experiences.

Children have had many less food experiences, so they don’t have this same amount of knowledge.

For example, if you took your child to a grocery store, they likely wouldn’t be able to identify all the produce there. And actually I really encourage you to do this because it’s eye opening.

Maybe they could tell you what color it was, but they might not be able to tell you the name, how it feels in the mouth, or it’s taste.

But then we ask our children to take a bite of it?

Hmm….how would YOU feel if someone asked you to take a bite of something totally unfamiliar and new?

I’m guessing, you wouldn’t be very open to the idea. Let’s imagine this. Say you went to a new a foreign country where the menu was in a different language. So they just brought you out a plate of something. Do you think you would dig right in? Or, are you more like me and you would smell it, poke it with your fork, or maybe try it on your teeth first?

This is food exploring. Food exploring helps bridge this gap, and allow children to learn the characteristics of a food, and become comfortable with them before eating it. They love that they don’t get pressured. And parents love that they have a concrete plan they can use to help their child learn to eat new foods.

Here’s what food exploring entails:

•  Introducing a food to your child: telling them the name of it, reading about it in books, playing with toys that look similar.
•  Placing a very small piece of food on their plate: Using small pieces allows children to be more open to the exploration process, because it’s not as overwhelming.
•  Having fun with it! Explore the textures, break it in half, smell it, touch it to your lips, or do a bite competition where you see who could crunch louder. 

Instead of jumping right to take a bite, we allow kids time to become comfortable with the food. Specifically, in our Food Explorers Membership we work on progressively help your child up these steps in a way that is comforting to the body. SO they have the opportunity to become more comfortable around a food one tiny step at a time.

In my opinion, one of the best things you can do to help your child learn to eat new foods is to shift the focus from “taking a bite” to how can your child learn everything you possibly thing they can about this food.

Grow it in the garden, have your child cook with you, take them to the grocery store to see where it comes from – all of this helps them learn more and more about the food.

Even if it’s not obvious right away, this sets the foundation for a positive food relationship, because it gives them the opportunity to predict how it will feel and taste like in their mouth and the autonomy to place it there when they are ready. 

The number one place parents go wrong with Food Exploring is giving up too soon.

When I see parents try food exploration, they haven’t fully given up the goal of “taking a bite” at the meal. And so they get discouraged when they’re child doesn’t try the new food immediately, and just stop. But food exploring isn’t about the immediate outcome. It’s about setting the groundwork for empowered, confident children at the table.

When you really lean into this and focus on the fun in food, rather than the bites, that’s where to magic begins to happen. When you have fun with it, your child will too. And suddenly the table starts to become more fun, more magical, and more friendly.


If this sounds like something you’re interested in, I really encourage you to check out my Food Explorers Membership where I help parents explore new foods every single month. I come up with the activities and teach them how to help their child progress in a fun and no pressure way.

Just go to the link in my bio @DrSamGoldman on Instagram to get started.

Talk soon!

Legal

***This post/podcast is not sponsored. The opinions and content of this blog are unique to the writer unless otherwise stated. No compensation is received for the links shared.

Disclaimers: The information provided by OT 4 ME (“we,” “us” or “our”) on theot4me.com (the “Site”) is for general informational purposes only. The Site cannot and does not contain medical advice. Any medical information is provided as my/our personal experiences is not a substitute for professional advice. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical advice.

THE USE OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THIS SITE IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. Although this blog/podcast contains external links WE DO NOT WARRANT, ENDORSE, GUARANTEE, OR ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ACCURACY OR RELIABILITY OF ANY INFORMATION OFFERED BY THIRD-PARTY WEBSITES LINKED THROUGH THE SITE OR ANY WEBSITE OR FEATURE LINKED IN ANY BANNER OR OTHER ADVERTISING.