#64 - The Brain's Command Center: Breaking Down Executive Functioning with Carrie Bonnett
Apr 14, 2024***For transcript of this episode, scroll down!
🧠 Dive into the command center of your child's mind with executive functioning expert Carrie Bonnett! Learn how improving executive functioning skills can unlock your child's full potential and empower them for success in school and beyond. 🚀
In this episode, we discuss:
- What executive functioning really means and why it's crucial for your child's development.
- Practical strategies to support your child's executive functioning skills at home.
- Signs of executive functioning struggles and their impact.
- The truth about when these skills develop.
Ready to equip your family with the tools for smoother routines and happier days? Hit that subscribe button now and let's dive into the world of executive functioning with Carrie! 🌟🧠
Want to connect more with Carrie?
Don't forget to grab her FREE Get the Brain on Board, quick-start blueprint to help your student GET THINGS DONE (without constant reminders): www.carriebonnett.com/blueprint
Or, find her at:
Show Notes:
Sam: Executive functioning.
That sounds like a pretty big scary word, doesn't it?
But it's actually very important in our day-to-Day Lives.
Executive functioning might sound like something right out
of a neuroscience textbook, but stick with me.
It's essentially the brain's CEO, responsible
for skills like planning, organization, and impulse control.
Imagine this, your child is struggling to stay focused
during homework time, constantly getting sidetracked
by every little distraction,
or perhaps they have a difficult time organizing their tasks
and often forget to do things.
Sound familiar? These are just a couple of examples of
how executive functioning difficulties can manifest in kids,
and that's exactly what we'll be exploring today.
Plus helpful tips with our amazing guest, Carrie Bonnet.
Carrie is a veteran teacher and a lifelong list maker.
She's an executive function coach based in Bend, Oregon,
where she lives with her husband and two children.
Carrie works with students and families all over the world.
Her no shame approach
and the strategies she teaches empowers students
to thrive in life and in school, helps parents
and teachers to better support their children
and helps adults get on top of all that life requires.
In addition to coaching, she's also an adjunct instructor
for early teachers at the University of Portland in Oregon.
Ah, I'm so excited for you to listen in, get ready
for an episode filled with insights
and tips you can use not only
for your child, but yourself too.
Sam: Hey, Carrie, welcome to the podcast.
Carrie: Hello. Thanks for having me.
Sam: I am so excited to have you here today
because n OT executive functioning is actually one
of those things that we talk about a lot.
It falls within our scope,
but I do think it goes largely ignored, so I'm so excited
to have somebody who focuses solely on that.
Carrie: Yeah, thank you. I knew I
didn't really know that about ot.
I knew that, um, about speech language pathology, like
that's definitely a connective connector,
but I didn't know it really bad about ot, so, great. Cool.
Sam: Yeah. OTs so broad, so it feels like
so much falls under it.
Yeah. So let's start
by just having you tell us a little bit about who you are
so our community can get to know you and what you do.
Carrie: Sure. So my name's Carrie Bonnet.
I am an executive function coach. I'm based in Oregon.
Um, I come to this work from the teacher side.
So I was a classroom teacher for 14 years.
I taught middle and high school, um,
and I didn't know about executive function when I was a
teacher in my, I'm 49 years old
and my teacher training that did it did not exist.
Um, so I came to this sort of knowledge
of this thing called executive function just a handful
of years ago, and, um, I work one-on-one
with students and families.
I work with adults too.
That's kind of a more interesting thing that happened
with this practice of mine
as I have more adult clients than I thought I might.
Um, but there are people who are struggling
to get their stuff done, and so they come to me
to learn some skills and strategies to help get on top
of school and work
and life, uh, to make those things easier.
Sam: So tell us more about this journey.
How did you go from never hearing about it?
It wasn't in your teacher training to this is what I do.
Carrie: Well, I didn't it, I didn't mean
to start in 2020, but I did.
And so sort, it's sort of pandemic related in a way.
Uh, year, a couple years
before the pandemic, I had a good friend
of mine who's a school psychologist.
Um, we were just talking about what the next phase
of my career might be and she said,
you know what I think you should do?
I think you should be an executive function coach.
And at that point I said, what's that? I had no idea. Right.
Um, but then it just sort of kept nudging me.
So I, you know, once you learn something new,
it presents itself in lots of ways, right?
There's actually a brain function that
that is the reason for that.
Um, but it kept kind of nudging me
and I kept hearing about this
thing called executive function.
Then the pandemic came up
and I kept hearing parents say things like, gosh,
I thought my student was doing okay in school until I had
to sit next to them and do school.
And they realized that their student was
really, really struggling.
So, um, so it just, I, it sort of smacked me in the face
and it was like, it's time, it's time to do this.
And then I did some, a lot of learning, some training, um,
and the need is great, Sam.
I mean, you're probably not gonna be surprised to hear that,
and maybe the people listening won't be that surprised,
but there are a lot of people out there
who need help with this stuff.
The, the research shows that these skills,
which we'll talk about in a little bit, I'm sure, um,
that they have to be taught that they're, we don't just sort
of like get them from the air or, you know, osmosis
or something, um, that these things have to be taught.
So that's where I come in.
Sam: Oh, man, that's so interesting.
And what a time to be thinking about it too,
because I feel like so many
of these issues really did show up during the pandemic when,
again, we'll talk about what these
executive functioning skills are, but it was so necessary.
Carrie: Oh, yeah. At that time during the pandemic.
Sam: So let's get right into it
because I think we might be losing some people
'cause they're like, wait, Sam, what,
what are we talking are we talking about here?
So can you tell us what executive functioning is?
Carrie: Right. So I would love to,
I love talking about this stuff.
Um, the simple definition that I like to give
for executive function skills is
that they are the brain skills that help us get things done.
So that's the simple definition. Great.
That's like the umbrella. Um,
but what we're talking about, the types of skills
that we're talking about are things like time management,
organization planning, um, self-monitoring,
like checking yourself,
am I doing the thing that I said I was gonna be doing?
Um, also things like task initiation,
which is getting started on a task.
This one by the way, I mean, I hear all
of them when people come to me,
but task initiation is probably one of the biggies.
Like, especially on the boring stuff, you know,
it's not easy to get started.
So those are the kinds of things we're talking about.
Working memory is another one, um, finishing a task.
So like, and they're all interconnected, which is kind
of annoying, I suppose, but,
but you know, you have to be able to start a task.
Focus is another skill.
Be able to maintain focus on that skill
or that task until then you actually finish
it to its completion.
So it's all a little things that, like when you say
to someone, just get to work,
it's more than just get to work.
It's a lot of different things at play.
Sam: Yeah. I mean, how many of us, kinda, like you said,
adults struggle with that every single day.
Carrie: Yeah, yeah. Especially I'm, I'm, I work for myself.
I work at home. It's real hard and,
and I have a brain that would be described
as I'm more neurotypical than some of the folks who come
to see me who maybe have some neurodiversity in their world.
Um, and it's hard for me.
So imagine a brain that has a learning difference
or, um, a traumatic brain injury.
Like imagine how hard things
some of these things would be for them.
Sam: Oh my gosh, I can't even begin
to think about how much you use it.
Even just like getting to go out the door for school, right?
Carrie: Absolutely. Getting your kids ready for the day.
Like, it just must be intertwined in everything we do. For
Sure. And that
comes up a lot, actually is as one of a,
like a stress point for families
when when you have a person in the house who has a brain
with executive function challenges,
like just getting out the door can be super stressful.
Sam: Yeah.
Carrie: So kind of like getting out the door.
It's like you're thinking about my
shoes need to be in this place.
Did I do my homework last night? Did I put it in my bag?
Is this where it needs to be? Is that kind of what Yeah.
Look at Yes. And looking forward to the day.
Like, oh, is this a day when I need my gym clothes
or is this a day after school?
I'm going to practice. And so I have to put my
whatever gear in my backpack.
Um, so that's like future thinking.
It's like in the moment, can I find the thing
that's important for me to take out the door with me?
Yeah. And then time, right?
Like time management
and awareness of time is all, it's all wrapped up in this,
this just getting out the door.
Sam: So what are some reasons
that somebody might be having challenges
with the executive
function skills? Where does it come from?
Carrie: There, the way I look at it,
I feel like there's sort of three things.
Maybe one is one I've already mentioned
and that is, um, learning differences.
So a brain with a DHD for example, or autism
or fetal alcohol syndrome
or traumatic brain injury,
like all these other sort of things.
Although traumatic brain injury, I suppose it's not a
learning difference, but it, it's a, it's a brain thing.
So, um, sometimes it's harder for people
because they have some kind of diagnosis.
Um, some, not, some of my clients, maybe most
of my clients have something like that, but not all.
Um, it honestly doesn't matter to me personally.
Like, I think it's great if you have a diagnosis, great,
that's good information, but,
but in terms of the work I do, it doesn't really matter.
Um, but that's one reason why it might be harder
for some students than others is like some
sort of a, a brain thing.
And another thing is just developmental.
So another reason why this is just harder for some is
that brains grow real slow and develop really slowly.
And the, the, um, the executive function skills
that we're talking about live in the prefrontal cortex,
which is right behind our forehead,
the very front of our brains.
And that's the very last part, you know, this of our brain
to develop and grow.
And so a lot of it is just developmental,
like it will get better as we get older.
Um, the current brain science says that,
that our brain is kind of fully developed
or grown up at age like 25 to 30.
So that's like, I work with middle
and high school students a lot.
They are not 25 to 30.
Um, so, so some of it is just developmental
and brains develop at different rates.
So even an eighth grader sitting next to an eighth grader,
the brain is just different.
And so some of it is, is brain development.
And then honestly, I think the last reason why it's harder
for some is some,
sometimes a brain doesn't really match up great
with a traditional school.
I mean, I'm not telling people to like change schools, um,
but a traditional school where you sit in a desk
and the teacher talks and you take notes
and you turn in homework and you like,
that is hard for some brains.
Um, and so it's just maybe not a match.
Um, they, you know, you still have to do school,
but that's, that's another reason why
it can be harder for some.
Sam: Oh, I love that you explain that. It's just not a match.
I always say when I talk about sensory challenges,
that it's not like a fault of the person.
A lot of the times it gets, you know, the child gets blamed
for being stubborn or difficult
and it's not a fault of the person, it's a fault of
that person's specific needs being a mismatch for the world.
Yeah. So I could totally see that for school too.
Carrie: Yeah. Well, executive function is exactly
the, the same, right?
Like it's not a character flaw, this is how I approach it.
It's not a character flaw that
you have a hard time getting started
or getting out the door in the morning
or turning in your homework.
It's not, I mean, it's just a brain thing.
Um, 'cause there is, and in this world too,
and they're very connected, right?
Like some kids who have some executive function challenges
also have some sensory challenges too.
But there's a lot of shame around it.
Um, and,
and some kids take on
that like feeling like it's a character flaw, you know?
Yeah. 'cause I'm sure too they get, you know, kind
of maybe shamed or in trouble
for not keeping up with the things that they were.
You know, quote unquote supposed to have done
or supposed to be doing.
Sam: Right. Right. Exactly. Homework is, is a big one that comes up a lot, right?
Like, either they have lots
of missing assignments sometimes,
and sometimes though they've done the assignment
but forgotten to turn it in.
Carrie: That happens a lot with students I work with.
Um, and so we work on sort
of what's a routine that we can get into.
So you always remember, especially now
that it's all on the iPad, right.
All they have to do is push the submit button
or whatever it is on their,
on their learning management system, but getting to the end
and making sure that it gets, gets turned in.
Sam: Yeah. All of that stuff.
I feel like I struggled with this
so much when I was younger in school, I can think of
so many times my mom would have to drive me back to school
to go to my locker because I'm like,
I don't have my textbook that I need to do my homework.
Or Hey mom, I need like three dozen cupcakes
for tomorrow.
Carrie: Yeah. I was, I was with a student last night, she, um,
was working on a, um, speech for four H.
She's a big four H student.
And, and she, it was like due tomorrow or today.
So I was working with her last night and it was due today.
And so this, this happens a lot, right.
And not just with people who struggle across the board.
Like sometimes it's just a one-off or something like that.
But, but imagine, you know, this, the, the brain
that struggles with this stuff a lot
will have experiences like this
over and over and over again.
Yeah. I can definitely see that.
I have so many popping into my head right now of like, yeah.
Memories of all these times that I was like, oh wait,
Yeah. And,
you know, but the truth is like, well,
I think we even said this at the beginning, it's not really,
they're not just school related.
I mean, they, they are right?
Like these skills a student has to do them in order
to student, but their life skills, right?
Like even beyond school, like, you
and I have to do our taxes
and we have to go grocery shopping and we have to sit down
and do whatever the thing is for our work.
So these are like, it's pretty critical that,
that kids learn this stuff.
Sam: Yeah. And so you mentioned too that
the brain wasn't fully developed until 25
and that executive functioning skills kind
of develop as we age.
Are there stages that you usually see they go
through when kids are doing kinda certain things
or where things are getting easier or harder?
Carrie: Yeah, you know, sometimes I do.
I think I, I'm sure that, I'm sure there are,
I don't see young, young kids,
so I don't, I don't see that part.
So I feel like there's a whole lot of growth
that happens early, you know, like elementary school, um,
and then high school a lot for sure.
Middle school is kind of like, to me,
I don't know if this is the, if this is
what the experts would say, but I think feel like middle
school is much more like social, right?
Like figuring out, so navigating social stuff, I mean, sure,
it's, it's content and it's
education and all that kind of stuff too.
So a lot of it is kind of figuring out the social
and maybe navigating the school system.
Um, but I don't know.
I feel like maybe the biggest phase of growth is sort
of late middle school into high school.
But then again, they, when when a student,
if a student goes on to college,
that's a huge transition too.
So, and they're still growing and learning at that age too.
So, yeah. I don't know if I answered
your question, but Yeah.
Um, I'm sure there are phases for sure
where there's like a lot of growth
and then a little stagnant on a period
plateau and then a lot of growth.
Yeah.
Sam: Kind of just my own personal wondering right now.
Have you seen differences in
executive functioning skills with everybody focusing
so much on like social media?
Does it kind of like take the brain away from focusing on
other things because we're so consumed with TikTok?
Carrie: I mean, that's a big one we always have to talk about,
about not just social media, but just technology.
Sure. Social media, yes, too.
But e every person that I work with, we always talk about
that as a distraction, right?
Like, and, and you know,
the word addiction gets thrown out there.
I don't a address that with my, my people necessarily,
but just trying to acknowledge
that it's a huge, huge distraction.
Another skill that we didn't mention
yet is this thing called metacognition,
which is a fancy word for just sort of like
that inner dialogue in your head that goes like,
get off your phone or get back to work.
And some students don't have a very loud voice kind
of inner dialogue that helps get their things done.
Um, but once we are sort of more aware,
we can maybe then take a pause and,
and say, oh, right, I see
that I am sucked into whatever the Instagram or whatever.
Um, but yeah, I mean,
this social media stuff comes up all the time.
Technology comes up all the time.
I did a parent presentation last night at a high school
here, and it always comes up.
It always comes up, especially with parents, right?
Like we, I'm a parent, I have a 13 and an 11-year-old,
and it's, it's a constant struggle question.
Um, battle the worry for parents and educators I think too.
But yeah, it's majorly, majorly distracting.
It's so easy to procrastinate with it too. Oh, totally.
To get sucked in and just kind of keep scrolling. Mm-Hmm.
Sam: So you did mention metacognition.
Tell us a little bit about the different areas
of executive functioning.
Carrie: Yeah. Well, so, so like I said, the meta,
I feel like metacognition is like the umbrella almost
that like everything lives kind of under,
like if we are aware self-aware, that's the metacognition.
And then we could maybe say, oh, I see
that it's been an hour since I've been on this phone,
and then we move on to do something else.
That's, that's what the goal is.
Um, but then there's there I would say like,
and that's a little bit related to self-monitoring, right?
Like the metacognition.
So, so self-monitoring is a huge part
of executive function, right?
Like being able to say, oh yeah, that didn't go as I pleased
or I wanted to and I'm now going to maybe make a change
for next time or in the moment.
Um, so that's the self-monitoring stuff.
And then I feel like there's, the time,
time is huge when it comes to like
just time awareness, right?
Like being aware of the passing of time, um,
how long things take, do I get sucked in
and then I realize it's two hours.
Oh my gosh. So I feel like time is definitely a big chunk
of, um, of executive function.
And then maybe planning,
'cause planning could be made, well, time management is part
of planning as well, but also working memory, being able to
remember what I have to do so I can make a plan to complete
the assignment, the project, the task, whatever it is.
Um, I'm trying
to think if I would say there was different phases.
So in the executive function world, there's not like one
standard list of all these skills.
The one I like to use has 11 skills on it.
Um, but you will sometimes see when you Google
executive function, like some lists we'll say like there's
three or five or eight,
but we're all sort of talking about the same thing.
The way I I tend
to talk about it more is very specifically like pull out the
very specific skills like working memory and planning
and task initiation
and finishing things,
which we would call goal directed persistence.
Um, so just in case anybody wants
to ever Google executive function, you might be confused
because there's a lot of different, um, ways
to, to describe it.
The, um, I use the list that comes from a book called Smart,
actually it doesn't come from Smart but scattered.
But there's a series of books by Dr.
Peg Dawson and Richard Gure.
They're called Smart But Scattered. Do you know it?
Sam: No, I've never heard of it. Yeah.
Carrie: So it's a great series.
So they, they, they're sort of pioneers in this area.
Um, and the,
their list comes from another book called Executive Skills
in Children and Adolescence.
But that's a great, I mean, if anybody's looking
for a resource, that's a great one
because that's how parents often describe their students
to me is like, they're so smart but a little scattered.
Um, and so they have a whole series of like smart
but scattered kids, smart
but scattered teens smart, but scattered adults.
Um, so that's the, if you Google it,
you might find other things, but theirs
is the list that I like.
Oh, that's so relatable. Smart, but scattered.
Yeah, I totally relate to that. Yeah,
There was a, there's another book I just, um,
was looking at the other day.
Ellen Broughton, I think is her name.
She wrote a book called, um, bright Kids who Can't Keep Up.
I think it's like the same kind of deal, right?
Like these, the same idea, like all these smart kids.
'cause the truth is like,
I feel like executive function is the
missing link in schools.
And I think, I think that that's the, that's the indicator
of how if you're, if a kid is gonna be successful is more
like executive function than it is how smart they are.
They have to be able to manage, you know?
Sam: Yeah. So what are some other signs?
We've kind of like mentioned them as we've talked through,
but like what would a parent maybe be picking up on
that would indicate that there's something going on
with executive functioning?
Carrie: Yeah, I mean, the miss, lots
of missing assignments comes up a lot.
Or not even knowing that their assignments are missing.
Um, sometimes it's a backpack, a um,
paper shoved in the bottom of the backpack,
can't find anything in the backpacks or the bedroom.
Um, sometimes it's, it's the rushing to get out the door,
like you said, like, oh, it's so stressful.
Or a teenager who cannot get to school on time on their own.
Um, those are the kinds of things that come up.
I, what we haven't talked about is, um,
emotional control and self-control.
Like, these are also executive function skills.
So being able to control the impulsive behavior
and big emotions.
And that of course is super tricky.
'cause they're adolescents, they're not really supposed
to be able to do this yet.
And sometimes that's, parents will say, my student is just,
they cannot, they blurt out, they interrupt.
They, um, have such a hard time controlling those impulses.
So I hear that a lot too.
Sam: And what do you see, you
mentioned you work with adults too.
What kind of things are you seeing in adults?
Carrie: Yeah, I'm finding, I, I just started
with a woman who's an entrepreneur, kind of like you
and me, works for herself, has her own sort
of online company.
Um, and she just wants so badly to, she has a vision
and a plan for sort of what this is gonna look like,
but she's really just having a hard time
getting the things done.
So it's people who are, they have jobs, they are in college,
they, you know, are trying to manage a family, but,
but it's getting to the point where they don't know where
to turn or how to do anything different.
Like it's sort of going in a cycle,
like running, running, running, running.
And nothing is different. So they, they come to me
to learn a few strategies to try
to get on top of some of that stuff.
And do you see at all that the kids that you work with,
maybe the parents also have, I feel like a lot
of the times these things kind of like run
in genetics and families.
Um, yeah, I mean, I don't know what the percentage is.
I used to have it in my head,
but I don't, yes, there's a great percentage of kids
who struggle with this stuff, also have a parent
who struggles with this stuff, whether it's a diagnosis
or not, it doesn't matter to me.
Um, that happens quite a lot. Yeah.
And actually, I, I am a coach who requires a parent
to be involved in all of our sessions with the student.
Not all executive fun function coaches do that,
but I just think part of it is that they,
the parent might get some benefit outta this also, but,
but the student is not ready to go it alone, right?
Like we just talked about, the brain is nowhere near ready.
And so I, I think it's super important
to teach the same strategies to the family, to parents
as well, so they can support their student.
I can imagine life just gets
so much more manageable too when they're both picking up on
those strategies and the parents like,
Oh wait, yeah, let's try.
And they can, and they have some language to use around it,
like some brain language or skills.
Like, I see you're having trouble getting started, you know,
like, that's so good, so good
to have those conversations with a kid.
And so if somebody doesn't get it addressed,
say the child is still struggling
and they don't kind of work on it,
how have you seen this affect them kind
of down the road long term, big picture?
Yeah, I mean, I just think it will continue
to be an issue, right?
Because brains, I mean, brains change, which is great,
but I would say, you know, you're still going
to be struggling with the same sort of stuff
unless you start to learn some strategies.
Like for example, so one
of my brains challenges is working memory.
I think it's gotten a lot worse as I get older,
but I think even in my youth,
I think my brain was not awesome at remembering things.
So what working memory is, is like just
what you need to keep front of mind.
So it's not like long-term memory.
It's not even really short-term memory,
but like in the moment, what do I need to,
to keep front of mind?
And I can't remember a thing unless I write something down
and I know that about myself.
And so I've just, that's my strategy
that I've used years and years and years.
So, so knowing that it's not gonna change,
but now I have a strategy.
So I think, I mean, student,
I think anytime a person seeks out coaching
or learning about this stuff is a great time.
So whether they're a college student or an adult
or like, it doesn't matter, it's a great time.
Um, but there will continue to be struggles, right?
Like if, if they, if a student doesn't learn this stuff, um,
there will be, there will be struggles in their life.
Like figuring out how to do their job
or live in an apartment with a, with a roommate
or a partner is just that these,
there will be continued struggles.
And that's not to say that coaching changes everything.
I mean, I like to think that, that it does,
but it's, it's very, it's a slow process,
but something is always better than nothing.
Yeah. And you also kind of mentioned at the beginning
of our episode, like a lot of those feelings of shame
and, and that kind of
Yeah. And that will continue, right?
Esteem. Yeah. Yes.
And that negative self-talk gets louder.
And, um, I, you know,
'cause one of the things if, if nothing else, my clients,
I'd love for them to just learn
and know that this is a brain thing
and it's not a a you thing, right?
Like, it's just a brain thing.
So that helps a lot, I think with the shame
and the negative self-talk
and the, this is how my brain works,
and being able to stick up and self-advocate.
I, I talk about that all the time too.
Like, stick up for your brain.
My brain learns best if,
or I learn best if my brain gets, you know, so kind
of having some little sound bites like that are helpful too.
Yeah. Well, let's kind of continue on that.
Sure. I know people are probably starting to itch
for the, okay, now what do I do?
What do I do? How do I do this?
How do I start making some changes?
Get off this hamster wheel. Yeah.
Sam: What are some simple strategies parents can maybe try at
home for themselves or their kids?
Carrie: Yeah, sure. So I mean, I would say first thing comes
to mind is, is to start to get curious, right?
Like, what if
the student is not being willful?
What if this behavior that I'm seeing
that is really challenging?
What if that is a skill thing?
And it, it's, that's what executive function is.
They're lagging skills, right?
Like, so students who struggle with this stuff, it's a skill
that is just a little bit delayed.
So one thing I would say is to start to get really curious,
um, for yourself and for your, your kids too.
Like how, when am I noticing challenging behaviors?
And could it be executive function?
Could it be they're sitting there staring at the assignment
for a long time and they haven't started?
Could it be that they just don't quite know how to start?
So this sort of like getting curious, um, which relates
to the language, right?
Like, I think language really matters.
So using, blaming the brain for this stuff, instead of you,
you can't get started or you are having,
you won't turn in your assignments.
Let's, I'd like to get away from stuff like that.
So language, getting curious.
Um, and then honestly, one of my,
the like most simple things I can say about, um, all
of it like, is to figure out how
to make things more visible for people.
So for yourself or like, keep things in your face.
So what I mean by that is there's a lot of stuff
that is invisible in our world.
So like time, for example, invisible, um, chores,
expectations, um, assignments,
especially if they get closed up in the,
in the iPad or the laptop.
Like lots of invisible stuff that is just outta sight
and out of mind, right?
So I like to say, let's try to make stuff more visible.
So that could mean, um,
clocks like an an i like an analog clock,
if you wanna know why I can, you know,
but I like an analog clock versus a digital clock,
but like keeping clocks in your face all the time.
Insight, I have one right here at
my desk that I can look at.
Um, keeping anything, if you have some sort of tasks
that you have to do today, like writing them down,
offloading 'em from your brain,
but like putting them somewhere where you will see it,
a sticky note or a whiteboard or a notebook
or a planner, something somewhere where you will see it.
Um, and I think it's important because we just forget a lot.
Um, things disappear.
And so I always say like,
make the invisible stuff more visible is a huge
and pretty simple thing, right?
Like to get it outta your head out of the iPad, out of the,
the ether of the world.
Uh, because time is weird.
So time, you know, like ke keep stuff in your face is a
great strategy to try. That's a simple win.
Sam: Oh, I love that. I feel like house tasks, things like
that, everything just used to get kind
of like thrown out and I forget about it.
I'm like, oh man, this, I haven't done this
in, you know, six months.
Yeah. And as I started to kind of write things down
and get it down on paper
and have it, like you said, like your sticky notes,
I have like my sticky of to-dos all day.
Uhhuh, it really does make a difference. Right?
Carrie: Right. Because you,
so I have a whiteboard in my kitchen.
We have two of 'em actually for, we each,
there's four of us in my family.
We each have a little section and I, that's
where I put the things that like I really have
to do today, not work related.
I have one of those on my desk, but this is more like,
I don't know, I have to call the doctor
and make an appointment or I have to, whatever,
like little things house wise, like you were saying,
or errands that I have to run
or pick up the kids at a certain time or something.
That's where I put that because I know I'll be in
the kitchen, I work from home.
I know I'll be in there, in and out, in and out, in and out.
So it's in my face that's, I had a seventh grader I worked
with and that's what he used to call
it in your face, right, Carrie?
Yeah. Keep it in your face.
Kids put it in the best words. Right? Yeah. Just in
Your face, uhhuh.
And for kids too. I also love the idea
of visual schedules.
Yeah. So like pictures,
because a lot of the kids who maybe are not reading ages yet
for some of those younger kids that are still learning.
Yes. I love that.
Like having pictures and little check boxes
to help them go through it.
Yeah. And you know, um, I,
there was a mom last night at this presentation that I did
who said she has a sophomore in high school who
they use visual pictures for things too.
Because sometimes brains that struggle with this stuff,
like they can't picture themselves doing the thing.
Like for instance, getting out the door in the morning,
like a picture of what,
what you look like when you are ready.
So you have your backpack on, maybe you have a jacket on,
maybe you're holding your iPad.
So you know, and you take a picture of it to refer to,
you have shoes on.
Same thing could be like with a bedroom, you know,
like you clean your room.
Ugh, that feels like a mountain.
I don't know how to, how do I clean my room?
Well, sometimes taking a picture of a clean room to refer
to can be really helpful for brains.
Sam: Oh,
That's such a good idea. Especially
when you can't remember where things go.
Carrie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, oh, you, I see there's no trash on the,
like pick up the trash, maybe do that first.
And I see that the bed is made
and I see that whatever it is
that the requirements are in your family,
Oh, what a smart idea and what a great way to make it work
for their personal family too. Right? Totally.
Totally. Yep. So is there
a specific strategy that you love using for like
you or your clients the most?
Like, is there one you always find,
find yourself going back to?
Is it that like, making things visible?
I think it is, to be honest,
because that could, that comes up in lots of ways.
Like using a calendar, using an analog clock.
Um, even timers, timers are a great strategy
and those need to be kind of in your face too,
so you can see how much time is left.
Um, one more thing to think about, I guess, is
that we, we mentioned lists.
I'm, I, I'm a lifelong list maker.
I think I even have that in my bio.
Um, but the list is helpful only
if it's achievable.
So I love a brain dump where you like,
get it outta your head and, and write it on paper
'cause it's swirling, swirling,
swirling, and you're feeling overwhelmed.
But in terms of like what you're going to do today,
that list needs to be achievable.
So you can't have 20 things or 10 on your list.
So with students who maybe have lots of missing assignments,
you can't write 'em all down on one list
and show them to this to a student,
because that is totally overwhelming
and your brain will be like, whatever, I can't do that.
So very small. I like tiny lists.
1, 2, 3 items maybe at the most.
Um, so that's something I also use for myself.
Sam: Oh yeah. 'cause definitely
be overwhelming to have so many. Well, Carrie, thank you so much.
This has been so informative,
but can you tell everyone
where they can find you and continue learning?
Carrie: Sure. I have a website.
It's just my name, carrie bonnet.com.
Um, and I have a free resource too there if you'd like to,
and, and a email list that I send out, resources and tips
and ideas on the weekly.
Um, and that's carrie bonnet.com/blueprint.
It's my blueprint for helping your child get things done
without constant reminders.
Yeah, that sounds nice.
Sam: Well, I'll tag all of that,
that in the show notes too,
so everybody can find you. Thank
You.
Carrie: Thanks,
Sam. This has been really fun.
Sam: Yeah,
Thanks for coming.
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